Life Is What You Make It

  You don't just learn from the successes and mistakes of others, you also learn from your own successes and mistakes. I aim to make this blog a positive place, where you can learn from my experiences, but also where you and I can see how I learn from my own experiences.

Today's blog is more the latter.

Last night I had a rather dramatic sort of homesickness-based breakdown and posted the following, which was really a cry for help:

  "Had enough. Want England now. Want to fuck about all day. Want friends. Want family to look after me. Want a job I actually love and feel passionate about (which I don't think I'll ever find because I seem to find applying myself to anything other than skanking, listening to music and baking some shade of dull). Don't want studies, work, pressure, responsibility or to be alone and looking after myself (because I'm not much good at it)."

Boy did my friends respond to that cry. 8 peoples responded by commenting, 3 messaged me, 1 called and 1 asked in person. Though I might not have shown it at the time, all those messages of support and concern really touched me. Through them I saw that my friends not only care about me but also believe that I can weather the homesickness and my own neurosis and come out of them having a fantastic time in Russia. Sometimes my friends know me better than I know myself.

I figure I need actions, not words to pull myself out of this slump and negative thinking, so here's my little plan:

• Put myself out there more so I can make friends, show people the outgoing side of me and not the protective shy shell that I reverted to when I got here. (Yes, believe it or not I was once a friendless nerd alone in the primary-school playground with my head in a book). I actually put this plan into action today by asking a fellow student where they were going for lunch. Things kinda snowballed from there and ended up in a Turkish restaurant drinking tea & ayran, eating baklava and smoking shisha with 5 others. Good times :)

• Start doing my homework earlier when I'm more alert, and therefore endeavour not to turn on my computer until I need it for work and homework.

• Start walking home or walking to school several times a week. Exercise = endorphins = happy feelings. Also will help me keep healthy despite the ready availability of coconut macaroons.

• Make time to do the Deepak Chopra 21-day meditation challenge because the first session was really relaxing and focusing. See this link if you're curious to try, it's completely free, what's the worst that could happen? 

• Keep my room tidy and free of mess - now I have this huge mirrored wardrobe I can hide my clutter away and thereby keep my mind free of clutter too! Clutter is a weird word... clutter clutter clutter clutter... rhymes with butter...

• Start up Спасибо Sundays again - making gratitude lists helps focus on the positive. Perhaps I'll do something like Galadarling's Carousel feature too where I post fab links of the week, as that will help me figure out what's worth reading and how to enjoy my time on the internet. I spend a lot of time link-clicking and not finding it funny, useful or inspiring in any way and ought to focus on the quality of what I'm reading and cut out the junk. Like eating properly, but consuming internet content instead of food.

Anyway, that's enough of the feels for now!

Hope you're having a great day,

x

P.S. I put my monkey onesie on and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water like it ain't no ting. Denis didn't notice at first, but then he got up for water too and exclaimed "WHAT?!". Hilarity ensued as he tried to understand why onesie are, what they are for, where you even get them etc. Then he took pictures of me holding a banana. Making him laugh made me feel really happy too :D

P.P.S. I accidentally put a background colour on the text and don't know how to remove it, hope it's not too annoying!